"Jews Mess Up U.S."

Oop, sorry, mis-typed. The headline of Karl Weiss's letter in today's Capital Times was actually "Bible Followers Mess Up U.S.":

Dear Editor: Everything Sen. Joe Lieberman says or does is for Israel. The man is a Zionist. Jews and evangelicals like Bush just love this person and it ALL goes back to that make-believe book called the Bible.

Our government has been taken over by people who believe in fairy tales and mankind has been set back hundreds of years because of this. Stem cell research, birth control and cancer cures have all been stopped by these idiots. Ignorance rules in these United States.

Mr. Weiss put in some pretty remarkable work in the end of his letter, broadening out the scope of his criticisms to include all, er, "Bible-Followers", not just the ones who set the good book aside 3/4ths of the way through (for additional laffs, see the paper version of the Cap Times. I don't happen to have my copy handy at the moment - left it at work - but today's Sound Off* featured a caller who used the word "parasites" to describe the Israeli government. I thought these sorts of pleasures were reserved for Guardian readers. No fair!).

Mr. Weiss probably believes that his skepticism keeps him honest, insulating him from prejudice, received ideas and sloppy thinking (not like those sheep who blindly follow the Mosaic injunction against cancer cures!); too many secularists allow themselves to get carried away by mindless rancour for this reason. I'm a secularist - heck, I'm an atheist - and I've done it myself more than once; more than twice, even. Usually the worst thing that comes out of it is that you look like a colossal fool.

But not always. Progressive ideas can warp your humanity and common sense as much as the stuff those nasty, god-bothering right-wingers believe. I hope that Mr. Weiss isn't giving voice to feelings that other progressives and liberals are too polite to say in public; I hope he's just another grouchy, know-it-all 15-year-old.

[*For those of you who don't live in south central Wisconsin: the Sound Off is a daily feature on the Cap Times's editorial page which reprints the anonymous phone messages of every crank, imbecile and ignoramus who rings up a special phone number. It seems to be fairly common wisdom around here that the opinions found in the Sound Off are usually good for nothing more than bursts of derisive laughter.]