Surely I Can't Be the First to Have Thought of This

From The Independent:

Dead parrot did have killer strain of bird flu

"The first case of the H5N1 strain of bird flu, which has already killed 61 people in the Far East, has been identified in Britain.

"Scientists confirmed last night that a parrot, imported from Surinam in South America, contracted and died from the disease while in a quarantine unit in southern England. The parrot, which died on 16 October, was part of a consignment of 148 birds imported from Surinam that had been housed in a quarantine unit along with 216 exotic birds from Taiwan, where the virus has been found.

"The parrot's owner later attempted to return the deceased bird to the store from which it had been purchased, demanding a full refund. The success of this effort has yet to be determined; when asked to comment, the owner of the store in question insisted that the parrot was 'just resting' or possibly 'pining for the fjords.'"

Okay, the last paragraph was a joke, haw haw haw. But how can it be that I'm the first and, as far as I know, thus far the only person to make this joke? I mean, really, it came to me within seconds of hearing the words "dead parrot" and "Britain" in the same sentence. Is everyone else out there asleep at the wheel?

Oh, right, I forgot: this is the dreaded avian flu, which will infect everyone, wreck the economy, bring martial law to the US and reduce the population of the earth to just you and Charleton Heston and you'll have nothing to do but shoot at vampire zombies at night and watch an old fucked-up print of Woodstock during the day. Well. Sorry I spoiled your bad time.