Snap Into It!

What I always find so incredible about The Onion is not its much-noted pants-splitting hilarity, but rather its writers' unnervingly deep knowledge of whatever subject it is they're lampooning.

My new favorite example: Make-A-Wish Recipient Now Wishes Macho Man Randy Savage Would Go Away

You have to be a little bit more than a casual fan to remember this: "Savage, who told Tyler his acute lymphocytic leukemia reminded him of the time he wrestled Ricky 'The Dragon' Steamboat and 'crushed that pip-squeak's larynx,' said that he enjoys helping less-fortunate fans."

But this is fairly astounding: "'I don't like when he sings his songs,' Tyler said, referring to Savage's impromptu performance of songs from his rap album Be A Man. 'They make me sad.'" I'd forgotten all about Be A Man.

(I know - how could you possibly forget Be a Man?

Hot diggity damn Hulk I'm glad you set it off (set if off)
Used to be hard Hulk now ya done turned soft
Doin' telephone commercials I seen ya
Dancin' in tights as a ballerina
I knew all along you had those tendencies
Cuz you've been runnin' from Macho like I got a disease

Go ahead.)

As for pants-splitting hilarity, this is hard to top:

"The Blashocks said they were initially relieved when Savage sprinted out of the room at 10 p.m., but his absence was short- lived.

'We thought it was the end of the ordeal,' Mr. Blashock said. 'But sure enough, 15 minutes later, we hear, "All right, Tyler, let's clothesline this cancer," and we knew tomorrow was going to be another day that our son wouldn't be able to swallow any food.'"